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Blogmas: Day ten | 15 weird and wonderful Christmas cracker jokes


Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas if it wasn’t for sitting around the table before your meal and pulling open your cracker to reveal some of the most weird and wonderful jokes you’ve ever heard. Today I thought I would throw together a compilation of some of the best and worst cracker jokes I have heard. I hope you enjoy them.

1. Why do cows lie down in the rain?

To keep eachudder dry (this is my all time favourite cracker joke)

2. Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?

Santa Jaws

3. What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?

Freeze a jolly good fellow

4. What happens if you stand on a grape?

It lets out a little wine

5. What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet?


6. Who is Santas favourite singer?

Elf-is Presley

7. What athlete is the warmest in winter?

The long jumper

8. What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?

A Holly Davidson

9. What lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers?

A nervous wreck

10. Where are the Andies?

At the end of the armies

11. What do you call someone who is scared of Santa?


12. What happened to the man who stole an Advent calendar?

He got 25 days

13. What do you get if you cross a lion with snow?


14. What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

It’s Christmas Eve

15. What do you call a train loaded with toffee?

A chew chew train

I hope you enjoyed this list! Let me know your favourite cracker joke in the comments below! x

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